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Some people throw the word \u201cnarcissist\u201d around fairly often. It\u2019s probably a term you\u2019ve heard before. There are even\u00a0types\u00a0of narcissists.<\/p>\n
But when people have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), they experience symptoms such as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a need for constant admiration, a belief that they\u2019re superior, and a willingness to take advantage of others to get what they want.<\/p>\n
And when they feel torn down from that pedestal \u2014 after losing a job, not feeling admired by others, et cetera \u2014 they can experience narcissistic collapse.<\/p>\n
Narcissistic collapse\u00a0isn\u2019t a sign of NPD or a condition, but an experience of insecurity that can lead to rage and feelings of depression. Here\u2019s what to look for as the person\u2019s partner.<\/p>\n
The Signs of Narcissistic Collapse<\/strong><\/em> 1. Gaslighting<\/strong> For example, your partner may say something cruel to you, then later claim they never said it. Or, they might call you \u201ccrazy\u201d or \u201ctoo sensitive.\u201d<\/p>\n When people with NPD are experiencing narcissistic collapse, they may gaslight you into thinking you caused their pain or that they\u2019re mistreating you because they love you.<\/p>\n 2. Compulsive behaviors<\/strong> This can be especially dangerous if they become violent and aggressive when drunk or high.<\/p>\n 3. Angry outbursts<\/strong><\/p>\n Your partner might act out angrily. They might smash things, yell at you, be cruel, seek revenge, or throw objects.<\/p>\n This is a part of narcissistic rage, which can come from the collapse. \u201cIt can present on a large spectrum from becoming withdrawn all the way up to extreme violence and verbal abuse,\u201d said psychiatrist Dr. Alexander Lapa\u00a0for a PsychCentral article. Your partner may appear out of control, which could leave you feeling unsafe.<\/p>\n However, not every person with NPD has an angry outburst, according to that same article. Others may turn inward and experience signs of depression.<\/p>\n 4. Signs of depression<\/strong> How to Handle It<\/em> Set boundaries Using an \u201cI statement\u201d is a good idea, especially once your partner has calmed down.\u00a0\u201cI statements\u201d look like this: \u201cI feel ___ when ___ because ___. Can you ___ instead?\u201d<\/p>\n Practice self-care<\/em> warm bath? Those are a few ideas, but it\u2019s really up to you.<\/p>\n Encourage professional help When the situation has calmed down and you feel safe, you can encourage your partner to see a therapist who can help them handle those tough emotions.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not your job to force them to go, and pushing them too hard could backfire. But, some steps they might want your help with include finding therapists in the area and driving them to the session.<\/p>\n Takeaways<\/strong> If your partner is experiencing this, it\u2019s OK (and important!) to set boundaries, leave if you need to and feel safe doing so, practice self-care, and encourage professional help for them (and possibly yourself, too).<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Some people throw the word \u201cnarcissist\u201d around fairly often. It\u2019s probably a term you\u2019ve heard before. There are even\u00a0types\u00a0of narcissists. But when people have a … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1663"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1665,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1663\/revisions\/1665"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nHere are some signs from a\u00a0Choosing Therapy article. Keep in mind your partner may respond in some of these ways, but not the others. Or, they may respond to pain in one of these ways, but not because they have NPD.<\/p>\n
\nGaslighting\u00a0is when someone manipulates your thinking and memory, making you question your reality and beliefs.<\/p>\n
\nPeople with NPD may also cope with the insecurity they feel by engaging in unhealthy behaviors or vices, such as alcohol, drugs, or gambling.<\/p>\n
\nSome people with NPD become depressed when they feel like a failure. They may isolate themselves from you, mention suicide or self-harm, or seem overwhelmingly sad or apathetic toward life. These signs are of course more dangerous for your partner than for you.<\/p>\n
\nSo if you notice these signs, how should you respond to ensure\u00a0you\u00a0feel OK? Here are\u00a0some options:<\/p>\n
\nRemember, it isn\u2019t your job to \u201ccure\u201d your partner of their feelings. Set boundaries around what is and isn\u2019t OK \u2014 like how they talk to you and treat you \u2014 and give yourself space when you need it.<\/p>\n
\nSeeing your partner act in those ways will probably upset you, in which it\u2019s important to take care of yourself. Do you need to spend some time in another room? Call a friend? Do something that relaxes you, like yoga, mindfulness, or a<\/p>\n
\nYour role as the partner is going to differ from a therapist\u2019s role, for example. Just like you\u2019ll have unique insights, they\u2019ll have their own expertise.<\/p>\n
\nWhen people with NPD go through something that suddenly makes them feel insecure and inferior, they may act out externally or emotionally with angry outbursts or depression symptoms. This is called narcissistic collapse.<\/p>\n