![\"\"](\"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/1_1W299ar1d0YBcS18qdhG5A-300x200.jpeg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
After the discard, you feel so helpless. Maybe you saw it coming. Maybe you didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a part of you that feels relief. But the trauma-bonded part of you wants the narcissist back. It just isn\u2019t ready to let go.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re paralyzed with indecision.<\/strong> Do I try to hold my family together? If only you could know what the narcissist is thinking.<\/strong> Do they hope to hear from you? No.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n Listen, the narcissist has been through this before \u2014 either with you or with someone else. They know the drill.<\/p>\n They discard you.<\/p>\n You beg them to come back It\u2019s like handing them narcissistic supply on a silver platter.<\/p>\n You\u2019ve done it before. Others have done it before. Of course, the narcissist expects it. The narcissist feels entitled to it.<\/p>\n Is the narcissist hoping to hear from you?<\/strong> The narcissist hasn\u2019t discarded you without having another source of supply ready to take your place. That person has been love-bombed, tested, groomed, and is currently filling their need for narcissistic supply.<\/p>\n Heck, the narcissist will triangulate the two of you for bonus supply from both of you.<\/p>\n Those things you\u2019re worried about\u2026<\/p>\n What\u2019s best for the kids? The harsh reality is, to the narcissist, you were an object, not a person.<\/p>\n You\u2019ve been replaced with another object.<\/p>\n And when that one becomes boring, there will be another object after that.<\/p>\n Whether they hear from you is irrelevant.<\/p>\n It was never about you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After the discard, you feel so helpless. Maybe you saw it coming. Maybe you didn\u2019t. There\u2019s a part of you that feels relief. But the … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1772,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[60],"class_list":["post-1771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","tag-narcissists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1771"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1771\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1773,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1771\/revisions\/1773"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nDo I beg them to come back?
\nDo I act indifferent in the hopes that they want me back?
\nDo I reach out and try to work on the relationship?
\nDo I act like I\u2019ve moved on to make them jealous?
\nIf you\u2019re in a complicated situation, say married with kids, it\u2019s even harder.<\/p>\n
\nWhat if I can\u2019t afford to support the household on my own?
\nWouldn\u2019t it be better for the kids to grow up in an intact family?
\nIsn\u2019t it best for the kids if I can buffer for them, and de-escalate the narcissist?
\nYour mind can go back and forth on this all day. Your body and spirit have the wisdom you need, but you stopped listening to them a long time ago.<\/p>\n
\nDoes the narcissist expect to hear from you? Yes.<\/p>\n
\nYou act desperate, weak, and ashamed
\nYou do anything to get them back
\nYou set aside all boundaries
\nYou offer unlimited concessions
\nYou apologize when they are at fault
\nTheir narcissistic supply comes from devaluing you and you have volunteered to do all the heavy lifting. You are devaluing yourself for their benefit and to your detriment.<\/p>\n
\nCertainly not.<\/p>\n
\nHow to financially weather this change?
\nHow to hide your struggles from your family and friends in case they come back?
\nHow to handle your hurt and betrayal?
\nThe narcissist isn\u2019t thinking about any of those things \u2014 not for one second. The narcissist is not thinking about you and what you need. They are fulfilling their own needs; needs they believe you can no longer provide.<\/p>\n