![\"\"](\"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/1_jbfVx0yErVSpJtl0T-51Wg-300x200.jpeg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Are you a narcissist?<\/p>\n
It\u2019s (hopefully) not a question most of us ask ourselves. But being in a toxic relationship can make you wonder.<\/p>\n
Toxicity can play such havoc with your emotions and psyche you lose sight of who you are. It can make you behave strangely \u2014 even worse, turning you into someone you barely recognize.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve seen both men and women struggling in the wake of toxic or abusive relationships and there\u2019s often a nagging doubt about their own role.\u00a0Do I have some narcissistic traits too?<\/p>\n
Hopefully, the answer is yes \u2014 because it\u2019s a good thing. Some narcissistic traits are healthy: and indicative of confidence or good self-esteem.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s just that when a relationship has turned you upside down, it\u2019s hard to figure out where the line begins and ends.<\/p>\n
So What\u2019s Narcissism in a Relationship?
\n\u201cHow starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego.\u201d \u2014 Amanda Torroni
\nClinically speaking, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition, characterized by an extreme self-focus coupled with the inability to consider the feelings of others.<\/p>\n
NPD, like any personality disorder, is not black and white so there are risks in rushing to a diagnosis. But it\u2019s helpful to consider\u00a0narcissistic traits\u00a0after a breakup, so you can better understand your relationship \u2014 and your place in it.<\/p>\n
There are reams of narcissistic literature out there but for some quick and easy reassurance that\u00a0it wasn\u2019t you, it was them, try this.<\/p>\n
7 Signs You\u2019re Not a Narcissist<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n 1. You want to educate yourself about relationships.<\/strong> 2. You\u2019re up for seeing a therapist if you need more help.<\/strong><\/p>\n If you\u2019re really struggling you\u2019ll reach out for help. A narcissist won\u2019t \u2014 or they might start in therapy all bright and shiny but after a while, the therapist won\u2019t be good\/intelligent\/understanding enough for them. Or, as soon they sense the therapist can see behind their mask, they\u2019ll be off and running.<\/p>\n 3. You don\u2019t have a string of broken relationships behind you.<\/strong><\/p>\n Depending on your age and stage, you might have a few relationships that haven\u2019t worked out. But narcissists keep up the pattern \u2014 often right through until old age. Because they can\u2019t (and have never been able to) love, and they need constant adoration\/validation, they can\u2019t sustain intimate relationships. You\u2019ll often see this pattern repeated in their friendships and work. They\u2019ll bubble and charm for a while \u2014 but they can\u2019t keep it up. They\u2019ll often bolt before they\u2019re found out.<\/p>\n 4. You struggle with anxiety\/self-doubt after the breakup.<\/strong><\/p>\n Intense or difficult breakups can leave people with low mood, anxiety, and trauma symptoms, such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, panic, and paranoia. You can become extremely fearful at the prospect of bumping into your ex again. Even a sighting of them on social media can distress you. It\u2019s also common to second-guess your role in the relationship, worry about what you did wrong, and doubt your attractiveness as a partner. These things need to be addressed so they don\u2019t get in the way of your loving again.<\/p>\n While narcissists are deeply insecure at their core, they\u2019ll generally only feel one of two emotions after a breakup: false happiness because they\u2019ve moved on to someone else or anger (if you ended it). When their egos get bruised, narcissists can become fixated on payback or smear campaigns. So if you called time, go quietly and don\u2019t look back.<\/p>\n 5. You\u2019re able to apologize genuinely.<\/strong><\/p>\n In fact, if you\u2019ve been with a narcissist, you\u2019ve probably apologized far more than you need to \u2014 for little if anything. You may have apologized just to keep the peace. Genuine apologies are not on the narcissists\u2019 song sheet. Even if they do manage a \u201csorry\u201d here and there, there\u2019ll be an agenda underneath.<\/p>\n 6. You don\u2019t keep contacting your ex just to \u201csee how they\u2019re doing\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n Most of us are prone to a little low-key stalking when we break up with someone \u2014 until we see the light. But it\u2019s never over for the narcissist. They\u2019ll keep tabs on you any way they can. It\u2019s not that they still love you (they didn\u2019t and they can\u2019t), it\u2019s just that they need to use you to validate themselves. They are driven to check if they could still have you if they tried. And they might keep doing it for years after you\u2019ve broken up. Hopefully, you know there\u2019s no gain in responding unless you need to stay in contact because you have children together.<\/p>\n 7. You\u2019re reading this post.<\/strong><\/p>\n Narcissists don\u2019t read about narcissism. Are you kidding? They\u2019re (superficially) all good with who they are. And, of course, they have much better things to do \u2014 and way cooler people to play with<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Are you a narcissist? It\u2019s (hopefully) not a question most of us ask ourselves. But being in a toxic relationship can make you wonder. … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1938,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1937","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1937","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1937"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1937\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1939,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1937\/revisions\/1939"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1938"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1937"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1937"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tipsforahealthylife.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1937"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nAfter your breakup, you jump online, you dive into the literature, and you ask people who know more than you. You want to know what happened. You want to understand your ex-partner\u2019s operating system and how something that started so well could turn so bad. You want to figure out what\u2019s going on for you now \u2014 why you feel so exhausted and broken by them. A narcissist won\u2019t educate themselves because they\u2019ll think they did nothing wrong \u2014 that the problem was with you. That they\u2019re fine and you\u2019re the one who needs fixing.<\/p>\n