Why No One Cares About You

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Spoiler Alert!


You can’t do anything about it.

People are all fundamentally selfish.

Even the most altruistic human on the planet prioritises their own self-interests over others.

This is neither good nor bad, it’s just how it is.

Let’s talk about it.

I’ve recently been going through hell.

My life got turned upside down through a series of events that I had no control over.

Worst of all, my 92 year old grandad got Neumonia and was stranded in Scotland, thousands of miles away from where I am in Istanbul.

I love my grandfather a lot.

I used to see him everyday when I lived in the Highlands of Scotland.

But as of today, I haven’t seen him in 5 months.

My mum has been worried sick about him and has told everyone she knows about the situation.

In return?

The people offer condolences and encouragement.

But the truth is, they don’t care.

And why should they?

They have no idea who my grandad is.

They’ve never met him.

They don’t know his unique mannerisms or even know what he looks like.

This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just the way things are.

People have their own problems to deal with.

They simply don’t have time to care about yours too.

Thankfully, my grandfather has recovered and is fighting fit again.

But he’s not getting any younger, and frankly, we know we’re running out of time with him.

One day he’ll be gone.

And what’s worse is, within a few years, most people who knew him will forget about him.

What was once a walking, talking universe will one day be reduced to nothingness.

An absence where there used to be life.

A dissapearance where ther was once a presence.

I don’t say this to make you sad.

Because the exact same thing will happen to you.

There are ancient kings who fathered thousands of children and conquered distant lands.

No one remembers these people either.

Where I live in Istanbul, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk is rightfully revered as a Godlike figure.

Without him, there would be no modern Turkey.

But aside from whenever you catch a glimpse of his image, how much time do people actually spend thinking about him?

My guess is not a lot.

The same will happen to you and the sooner you realise this, the better.

When people let you down in some way, don’t blame them.

They’re simply following what they believe to be the right decision.

In fact, you should learn to expect it.

When you refuse to accept reality, you are setting yourself up for unnecessary disappointment.

Just because people are empathetic, doesn’t mean they actually care.

Sure, they can feel sympathy for you.

They can offer words of encouragement and support you.

But they will never care about your life as much as you will.

And that’s okay.

It’s your life, you should care about it more than everyone else.

No one is going to save you.

No one is going to give you what you want.

You have to make it happen for yourself.

This doesn’t mean others can’t help you along the way, just don’t expect them to care as much as you do.

People are left disappointed all the time.

Just think about all the failed business partnerships and marriages that ended in messy divorces.

None of these people went into their arrangements expecting them to fail.

But life happens and personal priorities get prioritised in favour of what you want.

When you accept this truth about humans, you become free from despondency.

You no longer get your hopes up and believe the hype when someone promises you the world.

You realise that most situations are out of your control and that you can’t force anyone to do anything against their will.

This is freeing.

Instead of trying to make someone love you, you just leave them be and let them come to their own decision.

Instead of trying to force someone to believe something, you just leave them alone and let them discover their own truths.

I didn’t want this article to become a moody Morrissey song.

But upon reading it, it certainly seems to be seething with negativity.

This wasn’t my intention at all.

Many of the spiritual gurus I’ve heard speak about this topic highlight how empowering this truth genuinely is.

It makes you understand your fellow man on a much deeper level than most.

But I also have to offer a caveat.

I’m not saying that no one cares about you.

You care about you.

Your family cares about you (a lot).

Your friends do care about you too.

They just don’t care about you as much as they care about themselves.

That’s all I’m trying to say.

When push comes to shove, even the people closest to you will prioritise themselves over your needs.

This is an inescapable fact of life.

Unless you’re as enlightened as Jesus Christ, or any other awakened being, you’re going to remain tethered to your egoic desires.

The sooner you accept this, the better.

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