How Narcissists Deal With Regret
When a narcissist experiences regret, all thoughts and feelings attached will ultimately lead back to themselves. In their case, regret is generally self-focused.
I’ll dive into this further by providing some examples:
Losing a person as a result of their own bad and disordered behavior.
For the narcissist, they regret losing the supply that person readily dished out. Then they move on and find it elsewhere while oftentimes antagonizing or devaluing the previous supply in the process.
In the event a reaches relationship end involving a great partner
To the narcissist, the cause of the relationship’s demise reverts into it being about them. They will wallow in self-pity, perhaps even miss what that person supplied to them. Then eventually, they’ll get over it.
They may regret their more recent supply that they quickly pursued and rushed to the alter. But in reality, they regret not having found what they have always been searching for. They seek new supply and ultimately plan their way out.
Have you noticed the pattern?
This may even prompt the question:
Do narcissists ever experience remorse?
Before diving even further, I have to note that regret and remorse are completely different.
Regret is to wish you had done something differently. You can feel regret at losing someone but the feelings you experience may pretty much focus on you and how you feel. Not necessarily how the other person feels, though this can and does take place.
Remorse is different.
It involves actively regretting an action you may have committed but it is guided by feelings of shame, guilt, and feeling sorry.
Narcissists are damn near shame-driven. This is one of the main reasons why they have NPD. They rarely experience shame. They just can’t.
Narcissistic shame turns to rage which is then projected outward and toward the person igniting the feeling of shame.
After rage the narcissist will attempt to turn the tables and convince you as to why it is you who is wrong and not them. Essentially, gaslighting you into their guise of innocence.
Genuine remorse usually involves an apology, acknowledging wrongdoings of sorts, and acceptance of accountability. It is unlikely a narcissist will do this.
Narcissists can experience regret but it is usually never in good faith.