Are you going to let fear ruin your life?
You spend your entire life worrying about shit that’s probably never going to happen.
The price of that worry? You end up with regrets because you never took the risks you should’ve taken because you were worried about shit that’s probably never going to happen.
Sad.
And that’s the frustrating part, isn’t it? You know, deep down, that this is all in your head. You know that, theoretically, you could just stop caring so damn much and start living the life you were meant to live.
But, when push comes to shove, in the moments where it matters, you freeze.
So, what do you do?
Well, you do the same thing that I’ve been telling you to do for as long as you’ve been reading me. You do your best to analyze your situation and create some narrative in your mind that compels you to act.
Let’s take a look at some of the common things you care about too much and look at some ways to counteract those feelings.
You Care Too Much About Your Own Self-Perception
You place a judgment on every action you take. When you do something positive, something you approve of, you feel better about yourself. When you make a mistake or do something you regret, you feel worse about yourself. In both directions, you’re probably attaching too much meaning to your behaviors.
Yes, your behaviors do reveal who you are. Your actions are the best reflection of both the way you see yourself and the way you view the world. But you don’t have to assign permanent meaning to your behaviors.
Let’s say you make a mistake, a bad mistake. You shouldn’t just sweep it under the rug. You should reflect and analyze that mistake because it’s a sign that something was off about your life at that exact moment.
But that doesn’t mean that you’re destined to make the same mistake over and over again or that the error was so grave you can never recover from it. Honestly reflecting on your own behavior doesn’t mean you have to deeply care about your behavior in a negative way. Make sense?
You have to be like the quarterback who throws an interception, shrugs it off, and throws a touchdown the next drive. But how?
I’ll drill something like this into my head over and over — Ok, you messed up. You’ve spent quite a while messing up. But is it useful for you to keep dwelling on it? Or can you find a way to move on? Do you have to be this person forever? Do you have to care so much about every little action you take that it leaves you paralyzed or can you learn how to shrug it off?
Then, you try to take the right actions in the future without the weight of your self-perception making it ten times more difficult. Easy to say, hard to do, yes, but it’s the way.
You Care Too Much About What Other People Think
You have this deep-seated need to be loved, to be liked, to be respected, to be admired. This need drives most of your behavior. Logically, you understand that caring less about what other people think helps you get the outcomes you want.
When you care less about what others think and just live how you want to live, people are actually drawn to you. The more certain you are about yourself, the less you care about the opinions of other people.
Again, it comes down to that conversation. Sometimes I’ll literally talk to myself out loud like I’m some drill Sargeant, and try to break down my own limiting beliefs. Why should I care what anyone says about my writing? I do my best and put it out there. If I launch products, who cares if not everyone wants to buy them? What’s the big deal?
That’s a good question to ask yourself. What the hell is such a big deal?
Everyone is neurotic and self-obsessed to a degree. Why beat yourself up over them?
And you just do this over and over as you ascend through life. You more you put yourself out there, the less you’ll care about the opinions of other people.
You Care Too Much About Life Itself
You take everything that happens way too seriously. I don’t know about you, but I know I spent way too much time preoccupied with things that don’t matter at all — things I won’t care about in a month, in a week, in a year.
Life is too short to be spent constantly worrying. You live in this infinite abyss in the middle of nowhere and your odds of even being alive are basically zero. Why so stressed? Why not just be free and try to do whatever the hell you want to do? I’m not just writing this for you, I’m writing it for me too.
Try to focus on letting go of the grip of the steering wheel for a while and just letting your energy flow. Stop worrying so much and start living. Stop trying and just do things. Stop thinking so much and realize that activity is the key.
Think about this person when it comes to your life. Where is ‘caring’ holding you back? What can you let go of? What can you attempt to do more freely?
Start there.